The dilemma
As soon as I realized I must have left my choppers somewhere in the house, I knew this would be a race against time with only one winner – me or Lenny.
The sound of something I failed to identify as I left the house must have been the partials falling out of the case and onto the kitchen floor.
An eerie reminder
Echoing inside my mind was the story Jeff and his wife Sandy had related the night before, of how their dog Lenny had swallowed a cicada, wings and all, leaving evidence of the snack on the living room floor.
If he had no qualms about ingesting a pesky cicada, what would Lenny do with a defenseless set of partials?
The next conversation that emerged was a dire warning from my dentist: “Don’t leave these close to a dog, to him it would seem like a fun toy to chew on. It’d cost you a couple of grand to replace.”
I sent a text hoping Jeff would see it in time, telling him to keep his dog away from the kitchen until I could get there. But if he was still asleep, the plea would be useless.
The solution
Since I left early, around 5 a.m., there was still time to enter the house by the open side door, check the kitchen floor for the partials, and leave without waking anyone.
As I raced along Interstate 64, I noticed a highway patrol car tucked away on an outer road just a few hundred yards ahead. I could envision the conversation once I got pulled over: “What’s your hurry?”
Clearing the first hurdle
“Officer, If I don’t get back to Jeff and Sandy’s house soon, I’ll be out a few thousand bucks, that’s how much my partials cost.”
“Sir, have you been drinking or taking drugs?”
“No, look, if you need to write me a ticket for speeding, do it pronto so I can conquer the greater of the two evils.”
“Sir, please step out of the car.”
Luckily, I didn’t get pulled over and I continued my frantic chase against time. After exiting off of the highway, I benefitted from yet another stroke of luck, a string of green lights that shone like emeralds. The last light, however, turned red and seemed stuck there for an eternity.
Home free
After it turned green, I skirted a few deer foraging close to the narrow road leading to their subdivision, made my turn into Jeff and Sandy’s and entered the house through the open side door.
My heart was pounding like a bass drum as I searched along the kitchen floor. There it was, collecting the first ray of light to start a new day.
I scooped the partials up and quickly made my way out of the house, careful not to wake anyone.
The phrase “Snatching victory from the jaws of defeat” suddenly took on a more literal meaning.
As I was driving back home, Jeff sent me a text. “Always the kidder. You almost had me believing your crazy story,” he wrote.
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Bill Heitland has authored three books: Adversity’s Early Light, a collection of short stories, Chance Evers and Two for the Seesaw.
For more go to billheitland.com
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